Healing Out Loud

Writing My First Book.

In April 2021, I sat down to write the outline of my first book. I made that vow on the same night I was handed a four-sentence “discard speech” — the end of eleven years spent sharing my life with someone I believed loved me.

I had no idea what the next four years would actually hold.

What follows isn’t a polished retelling. It’s the real thing — episodes I recorded on my podcast, Mindset, Money, Success, while I was living through it. Not reflecting on it afterwards with the safety of distance, but talking about it in real time, while a former partner was attempting to make me homeless through Spain’s “precarious eviction” laws, treated as if I were a squatter in the very property he had left me in when he returned to the UK.

I wasn’t earning anything, I was in shock, trauma, grief, and fear, however, I was still showing up to record.

I’m sharing these episodes here, in order, so you can hear that journey unfold as it actually happened, not the tidied-up version.

🎙️ I Did It Anyway

Two Criminal Court Cases

What was happening: Behind the scenes as I recorded this episode in November 2023. I had already appeared in Court 1 for violence against women from a complaint I had made to the National Police in Cartagena, Murcia, Spain. I was given legal advice to file a complaint of “coercion” by the Spanish criminal lawyer I hired for the false criminal allegations against me.

The ex-person terminated the water supply contract, and I was left without water and sanitation. The Women’s Court was meant to decide the case and help restore the water supply. (Note: That never happened, and I was left without a water supply until I left the property in January 2026.)
I attended Court 5 for the first investigation hearing for the seven criminal allegations against me. Forced to sell my future financial security to survive., still was not earning any money. To help me in the court hearing, I found an English-speaking hypnotherapist not far from where I was living and decided to invest a little bit of money in a course of sessions to help me in the court hearing. I wanted to appear as calm as possible under the circumstances. I think it worked.

What I understand now: The criminal court hearing should never have proceeded, in my opinion. The allegations were false, and the defamation against me was considered a case of SLAPP, Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation. Freedom of Speech and a Human Right under Article 10.
As I had published videos, articles, and self-published the first book, I was being discredited by a former romantic partner; he reframed my articles and speaking out as slander, harrassment, insults and defamation. The victim statement made by the plaintiff highlighted my actions as “spiteful and revengeful”; in all honesty, they were actually truthful.

🎙️ The Spanish Retirement Dream

Was I On The Naughty Step? – A Partial Victory.

What was happening: At this point, I was exhausted, and this episode was recorded 17th November 2023. I was building up to making another complaint with the Guardia Civil. The Madrid defence lawyer who was representing me in the two criminal cases, was not responding to my calls. I was the Plaintiff in the coercion case, and I was also the defendant in the allegations against me. I decided to file the complaint without any advice from the lawyer. The complaint was written in English and Spanish before making the visit to the Guardia station.

What I understand now: My legal representative was not returning my calls. Even when he promised he would call me back, he didn‘t. I questioned myself. Was I on the naughty step? Before the first hearing in Court 5, the 7 criminal allegations had maximum penalties requested, which added to 17 years of prison, before the prosecution struck out the slander allegation.

30 pages of screenshots

The lawyer had instructed me not to answer questions about the book I had written. Even though in the evidence it was clear I had published a book, the plaintiff had 30 pages of screenshots from my social profiles, and the book was clearly in those images. The Judge made sure I understood why I was there and the rules of engagement. I didn‘t have to answer any questions I did not want to answer.
The hearing started with the Judge asking how long I had been in a relationship; I answered eleven years. The next question: did you write a book? Yes, I did write a book. Oops! I just disobeyed the lawyer’s instructions. I was unable to say, I don‘t want to answer that question. By December the first decision of the judge came back; five out of the seven allegations had been dismissed. A partial victory.

🎙️ Three Ds in Relationship Endings

Your Lawyer Is Not Helping You

What was happening: This episode was published on the 24th of November. The Cartagena civil court “precarious eviction” case was running in the background from June 10th 2022. The public appointed lawyer for my defence had made an appeal to try to redeem herself after leaving me virtually defenceless in the verbal hearing, where no questions were asked and no interrogation of the plaintiff. I had filed an official complaint against the lawyer with the College of Solicitors on two grounds of discrimination: language and socio-economic status. The lawyer was removed from the case and was replaced by the college.

What I understand now: The public appointed lawyer was not helping me. Before I made my complaint, I requested all of the files of the case, because I wanted another legal opinion. What I discovered was a letter that notified the court why there would be no questions asked.

The reality was systemic failure. No evidence was presented to the court, and the reasons why the lawyer did not want to ask questions or interrogate the plaintiff were “neither party speaks or understands Spanish” and, to add insult to injury, the second reason was, “my client lacks any form of income and has recognised free legal assistance”. I now feel that there was no fair hearing in that courtroom on June 10th 2022. There may have been a breach of the fundamental right to a fair trial under Article 24 of the Spanish Constitution. Where Spanish courts fail to resolve the unfair treatment the final step is the European Court of Human Rights. ( ECHR ).

Why I’m telling you this

I’m sixty-five. I lost almost everything I’d built — but I didn’t lose my mindset. If you’re feeling like it’s too late to start over, that’s exactly why this exists.

I’m not sharing this only for myself. I’m documenting it so other women don’t fall through the same cracks in the Spanish and UK legal systems — cracks that exist because no divorce required should never mean no protection required.

These episodes are the raw material. The full story – what happened, what I learned, and what the law still doesn’t protect – is in my books: